trusting in God...a lesson being learned

I want to share with you what God has been teaching/revealing to me lately, in hopes that it will encourage you.  My learning has come through my time in the devotional book 40 Days with Jesus: Celebrating His Presence by Sarah Young.  I would highly suggest you get your own copy and go through each of them.  I have learned so much about Him, as well as myself through where this devotional takes me into God's Word.  The book is written from "Jesus' perspective".

So I have known for a while that for some reason I have trust issues.  I know I struggle with taking people at their word and trusting people to be who they say they are.  What I didn't know what that I have that same issue in my relationship with God.  I don't trust Him as I should.  I struggle to trust Him for who He says He is: that He loves me, that He wants to hear my prayers, that He cares about me, etc.  The devotional was pointing out, "When you are dissatisfied with your behavior, you tend to feel unworthy of My Love.  You may unconscious punish yourself by withdrawing from Me and attributing the distance between us to My displeasure.  Instead of returning to Me and receiving My Love, you attempt to earn My approval by trying harder.  All the while, I am aching to hold you in My everlasting arms, to enfold you in My Love.  When you are feeling unworthy or unloved, come to Me.  Then ask for receptivity to My unfailing Love. (Young 32)"

This hit home hard.  I do that subconsciously all the time, and I feel as though I have worked myself into a rut of feeling overcome by my sinfulness, blocking the intimacy of my relationship with Christ out.  I know He loves me, but I need to have a better understanding of His love.  It is unconditional.  I am so wrong in pulling away from Him when I see my sin, because instead I should be drawing closer to Him, pleading with Him to help me change my life and to turn the sin around.  My sin won't be turned around without His help.  I need to accept the love He is always trying to give me.

This has radically changed my life.  It isn't an overnight change.  I still see my sin and am disgusted with my imperfection  but I am now working on crying out to Him and telling Him how upset I am with myself and asking Him to help me accept His forgiving love.  I believe that as He helps me understand His forgiving love, I will better be able to forgive myself for the tedious sins I do daily, as well as have a forgiving love for those around me.

After all, God is the most trusting of all.  When I trust in Him as I should, I will trust Him to take care of me and guard me around people here on earth who are not trustworthy in so many ways.  God really does love me, really does care about me, and really does want to hear my prayers.  I am so thankful for His revealing to me that I don't trust Him as I should.  Please pray for me as I work on implementing this change in my life.  I hope this is an encouragement to you.  Maybe you are another person with trust issues, where those trust issues are affecting your relationship with Jesus Christ...think about it.

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. --1 John 4:16-18